FamilyCosm

Couples with poor communication skills, who are prone to criticizing each other could be destined to fail, if their behavioral patterns aren’t caught in time. The answer is an annual visit to a couples counselor, says Dr. James Cordova, Ph.D., head of a study on marital health check ups.

“So much is what is predictive of a deteriorating relationship is difficult for the couple to detect,” he explains. However, years of research have revealed a number of patterns and issues that can be assessed and treated before critical damage occurs.

couples counselor
In the sessions with a marriage counselor, Cordova identified several trouble areas. Most notably was the inability to fit their marriage into a busy schedule. He says with some creative problem solving, marriage family counselors can help couples find a way to make time. Often poor communication leaves many spouses coming off overly critical, triggering the other person’s deep-seated emotions and feeling emotional drained.

It is not all strife and turmoil in the counseling for marriage sessions, however. Sometimes couples may need to see licensed professional counselors, read books or simply spend more time together.

The initial results of these annual counseling sessions for couples have been promising, Cordova reports. In the first 68 couples, most reported increased marital satisfaction, improvements in intimacy and a higher level of cooperation and acceptance in their households.

“People that have been through the marriage checkup are improving in all kinds of ways in comparison to couples who haven’t.” He admits that some couples will undoubtedly relapse, as anyone would in medical or emotional therapy, yet those with access to treatment always fare better.

marriage family counselors
“Essentially, what we’ve discovered over time is that marital health is really a health concern. The qualities of a person’s marriage and the extent to which they are doing well in that marriage has a dramatic effect on physical health and mental health,” said Cordova.

He points out that many studies reveal that couples who stay together often live longer, but also that those who attend sessions with a couples counselor experience fewer physical health issues. Counseling for couples can cost anywhere from $45-$200 per hour, with an average cost of $100; however, when compared to the $1,500-$30,000 for a divorce, it’s chump change for years of bliss and better understanding.